**I was going through my drafts and found this. I would have written this about 2yrs after my mom passed. It’s been 4yrs now but I can say, the sentiments remain the same. **
I was nominated on facebook to share 3 things I’m grateful for, over 5 days. I accepted the challenge and realized I enjoyed it so much that I decided to continue. Because I know there are so many who have also walked the path of grief I wanted to share today’s daily gratitude:
Grief is messy business. Mostly because there is no one right way to get to other side of it. It’s a strict teacher that does not waiver. You can hide, duck and even run…but this is a seasoned teacher who knows all the tricks. So while I resisted with tantrums and mental shutdowns – doing my best to avoid the lessons and realities of what is, she stood strong.
Thank you Grief for waiting for me. Thank you tears for being the rain that watered the seeds of hope. Thank you silence that let me hear the whispers within. Thank you spirit for guiding me when there was no path. Thank you loneliness for making me look up – and feeling His love in the embrace of those that love me here.
Today I am thankful that I was given the chance to walk some of my most dark days and felt some of the most heart-wrenching heart ache that I wasn’t expecting and didn’t know how to handle. I’m thankful for a loving God who was willing to risk losing me to the darkness of anger and sadness for the chance to hold me fully, and have the ability to enter a new softened heart, ready to do the hard work of being a light of love in this world.
I’m thankful (now) that grief knocked me on my a$$ over and over the last two years. I’m thankful for the grace of Life that picked me up each time. I learned to be stronger, smarter and hopefully better.
Grief is messy business for sure and while I don’t tend to like mess – for me it was where I found the deepest of treasures. Myself.